It happened again, I had a day off only to discover about supper time that I had not had a moment of stillness all day. It was supposed to be a day of rest, a day of prayer. However, I did not feel comfortable unless I was doing something. As a result, I missed a opportunity to enjoy a blessed Sabbath repose. There was nothing making me be so kinetic. It was something from inside of me.
The psalmist wrote, "Be still and know that I am God." I sometimes find this hard. We are so pressured to be productive in our society, that we have lost the ability and spirituality of doing nothing. We feel guilty if we just sit still and enjoy the presence of God.
I am coming to the place in my life where I realize that I will never know enough or accomplish enough. I may not reach my career goals. I may never be any more of a "master" of or "expert" on anything. I am trying to let myself of the hook with this. It is okay if some things are beyond my reach. I am not God.
This acceptance of my limitations should free me from the compulsive, incessant improvement myself. I will continue to try to be a better minister, worker and student, but I also need to learn to spiritually loaf.
