the other day at a social event I found myself in the company of parents sharing stories of their children. Having not been married and having no children of my own, I made an awkward comment on my nieces and nephews who are a regular part of my life. I could see them giving me that look that says, "You have no idea." Most adults my age have families, and I often find myself in a "party of one." So, a day later I am thinking about my life and what direction it might have taken in another reality.
I have always felt that I was in God's will. Even in the less than spectacular choices and in my stumbling, I have always been convinced that I was generally where God wanted me at the time. I had other options in times past, but did not sense God in them, so I passed them up. Still, I sometimes stop and wonder.
In the end, it is all about how much I trust the providence of God. There is nothing in my life that has taken God by surprise. His hand has been on me all the way. If I am living in obedience to him, then I have to trust that his plan for my life is being fulfilled. I have to trust that those memories that I will never have and the live that I never will live is not the best that God has for me. I have to trust that the life that I have is the one that will most impact God's kingdom.
For me, following God has meant sacrifice, but I am coming to terms with God's plan for my life. This plan may not be one that most can understand. Spiritually, it has often been a call to the desert, but I have found a measure of peace and joy in it. I still struggle some times to trust God's providence, but I am growing in faith
