The other day, I was driving a colleague to the
airport. We were talking for about
fifteen minutes when we both fell silent.
It was one of those lulls in the conversation. Though it only lasted a few seconds, it felt like it lasted much longer. I felt like I was failing at something. Shouldn't I be a good host and nurture the conversation? Instead of honoring the silence, I began to
talk just to fill the air. I am sure that in the next few minutes I said nothing of any consequence and probably said some things better left unsaid.
Sometimes, when ministering to those who are hurting, I feel
a compulsion to verbally console them.
Something in us makes us want to make things better. It is a compassionate desire to want to take away the pain, but we usually can’t. Especially with grief, it is important that the stages be completed. In those
times, it is best to be silent and minister with a compassionate presence.
Silence is not new to me.
I spend much of every day in silence.
Still, there is a silence when I am alone and a silence when I am with
others. The other day, I was at work
helping some coworkers prepare for an event.
I looked up at them and said, “Are we done yet: I am feeling chatty and
have nothing to say. That usually gets
me into trouble.” We are a very
gregarious society. We are inordinately
chatty. We have forgotten how to be
together and be silent.
We need to recover the ability to be fully present and
silent with each other. There is a time
for talk, but there are also times when the talk gets in the way. The wise person knows the difference.
